Expect nothing. Live frugally
On surprise.
Become a stranger
To need of pity
Or, if compassion be freely
Given out
Take only enough
Stop short of urge to plead
Then purge away the need.
Wish for nothing larger
Than your own small heart
Or greater than a star;
Tame wild disappointment
With caress unmoved and cold
Make of it a parka
For your soul.
Discover the reason why
So tiny human midget
Exists at all
So scared unwise
But expect nothing. Live frugally
On surprise.
– Expect Nothing, by Alice Walker
*
Today, during Band, I had the intention of staying all cold and distanced. I suppose this was a means towards self-preservation. Towards the end of the day, however, a bunch of us ExCo members had noticed how one of our juniors had looked really sad when she reported for practice. And in that very instant, I got up, cleared my mind, and began to flex my Welfare muscles.
Strangely enough I went on a warpath.
I think the strangest ironies of my life right now, is that the Head Welfare of the Wind Ensemble needs his own personal Head Welfare. The one who deals out most of the concern, requires taking care of as well. Isn’t it ridiculous, how easily I care for others, in spite of myself? One day I’ll find myself hollowed out all over again. (But dangerously enough, I won’t mind.)
Anyway.
During the finale of Grey’s Anatomy’s second season, Cristina finally enters Burke’s ward. Earlier on she had bailed on Burke in the Operating Room because she was too afraid of the idea of losing him, having witnessed him going through a painful and panic-driven surgery. She just walked out, leaving Burke all alone to deal with the pain, without the anesthesia. And as Cristina is in his ward, lamely attempting to make small talk about the upcoming prom, Burke suddenly turns to her and says:
“I don’t expect you to take care of me.”
Take from this what you will.
yam.
P.S. Apparently, if one lowers his or her expectations, he or she becomes less susceptible to disappointment, and more open to surprise, and therefore, happiness. To quote Lloyd: “Expect BAD, gets better!”
